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Back to square one, least I may have a new friend if you keep this word :)

Just because you are vulnerable, does not mean that you are weak. It means you have the strength to risk everything for something great. 

Feeling sunshiney, jumping out of my skin

=D

I am worthy of this. 

Nothing ever stays the same- so best not cling for life to that which does not change with you

Find things you love to do- and stick at them until you’re as good as those you admire

Embrace all that life’s cultural flora throws at you- seek out the unusual and dwell on the details of these experiences. 

It’s so nice to feel giddy again.

Be the sunshine you wish to see in the world.

Give out charm and warmth and it is what you shall receive. 

:) 

To let go of anger is the most beautiful feeling in the world.

True friendship is worth everything - false friendship is not worth your time. 

I am my own person, my identity and flair is my own. 

Things seem a little bit out of control today but true to my plan I will write three positive thoughts. 

Things are not as bad as they seem. 

While the sun is not shining- feel the warmth of a loud beat and intense vocals

I can get back on track. 

http://orchidsnowfairy.wordpress.com/2009/09/13/what-does-it-feel-like-to-be-a-borderline/#comments

Really true and accurate blog entry from a recovered BPD.

It’s funny when you realise that there is a fine line between living and self-destruction. Speeding along between cars late at night- there’s no one to stop me, no one around to see that it wasn’t an accident, if you turned the handlebars on purpose, simply to see what would happen. Sometimes I find myself tempted to put my foot down mid-ride and watch the world flip and terrify itself. If I wanted to, I could implicate a high-speed collision. All it takes is one flick of the wrist. It’s funny how fragile life is on the edge. 

Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.

Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.

All men must stumble often to reach the truth.

A beautiful friend bought for me this notebook they found entitled “21 Days to Change a Habit”. It features spaces to write goals to achieve everyday, with check boxes, and a self-assigned reward for achieving those goals. I thought I would write about the effects of this upon my personal learning and goal maintenance. I also believe that the nature of my assigned rewards will change. Even though the goals may be petty- its interesting to note the effect that small changes have. 

Week 1

This week will begin today, on a Wednesday- and if I can stick to my goals for the rest of the week I will get my reward- just to kick things off. 

Goals.

1// NO SUGAR

2// NO DIET COKE

3// EXERCISE 4 TIMES A WEEK

4// POSITIVE THOUGHTS (3 A DAY)

5// ONE SELFLESS ACT A WEEK

6// CREATIVITY

7// TAKE CUTLERY/GLASSES BACK TO KITCHEN (FOR MUMMA)

8// TIDY CLOTHES- DO LAUNDRY

Rewards.

1// One meal of desired food

2// Sugar-free Redbull/Redbull and Vodka

3// One item of clothing

4// One makeup/beauty product

5// Forgive yourself

6// Art/book

7// Game/Dvd

8// CD

Perhaps I can post my 3 positive thoughts here… for myself to read. 

To find someone you love, you’ve gotta be someone you love

It’s interesting how a mantra can mean so much to you at a certain point in your life, but mean nothing to you at another. Words which gave you such confidence and inspiration mean nothing in the present context. Maybe they were such a confidence for you because they confirmed your denial and allowed you to remain where you weren’t happy. 

Life’s too short to be consumed by fear and anger. All that’s to be taken from this is to never be conned again. Fuck it, everything will be sweet. 

Taken too long to admit this reality

Never thought my thoughts had any validity

Never thought that you meant the abuse

Never thought about how deliberate was your use

~

And now I’m used up and raw

All your adventures scattered around the floor

My wallet’s empty and my mind is tied

You forced my dependence with how much you lied

~

Should have listened the time you told me that i was a game

Should have noticed the characteristics of your alias name

Your charm was superficial and vicious its true

Eyelids sinking with weights coloured blue

~

And now i’m used up and raw

All your adventures scattered around the floor

My wallet’s empty and my mind is tied

You forced my dependence with how much you lied

~

It makes me wonder who you really are

A part of me refuses to admit you’d go so far

I’m so lucky you’ve exited from me

I’m so lucky, lucky to have these scars